Marriage
This web page has three article:
Article one: Preparing for a Catholic Christian Marriage
Article two: Marriage…A Calling… A Sacrament
Article Three: Marriage and Remarriage in the Roman Catholic Church
Preparing for a Catholic Christian Marriage
Those wishing to be married in the parish are to make arrangements with the pastor though the parish office at 345-0064 at least six months in advance of an intended date. The date of the wedding should not be set before meeting with the pastor and only after a pre-marriage inventory (Foccus) has been taken and reviewed.
Those considering marriage will be required to do through a six-month marriage preparation and formation program. It is a time for prayer and reflection together and a time for self-discovery, getting to know each other better, and coming to a clearer understanding of Catholic Christian Marriage. This preparation and formation program can be of great assistance to those contemplating marriage in the future.
Sometime a marriage needs to be delayed until there is sufficient evidence of faith and understanding of the commitment and responsibilities of Christian marriage and reasonable assurance that the couple intends and is capable of living a Christian marriage.
The Catholic partner should be fully initiated into the Church, having been Confirmed and be receiving Eucharist.
Those not registered in the parish and wish to be married her will be asked to make arrangement for the marriage preparation and paperwork with their pastor who in turn will give his permission if writing for the marriage to be celebrated here as well as the necessary documents.
The Wedding Liturgy
The wedding liturgy is, first of all, worship of God. It is a gathering of the faith community to praise and thank God for the gift of this couple, for their family and friends, and for God’s special gift of Himself in human love. It is a time for asking God’s help in their living out of Christian Marriage. It is a celebration of the whole parish as it w welcomes a new cell within it or send forth a new cell to another faith community. Everything should be done to make the entire parish feel comfortable to attend the wedding liturgy without being expected to give a gift.
Before planning a wedding liturgy, the couple is urged to pray and reflect upon the scriptures and the church’s teaching on the Sacrament of marriage. Parents and family are urged not to impose their wedding ideas upon the couple, but allow the couple to plan a liturgy reflective of their insight into Christian marriage within the parish guidelines.
Simplicity in dress, floral arrangements, and style is integral to good liturgy and reflective of the life style modeled for us by Jesus. There should be as little as possible social distinction in our liturgies so that those poorer among us will never be put under pressure.
All decorations, seating arrangements, selection of music and musicians are to be appropriate to worship and make clear that this is one community gathered and invited to full participation in the singing etc.
Below are two short articles we hope are helpful to those interest in Catholic Christian marriage: Marriage…A Calling…A Sacrament and Marriage and Remarriage in the Roman Catholic Church.
Marriage…A Calling…A Sacrament
A Reflection on the Sacrament of Marriage
Catholic Christian marriage is a very beautiful and sacred calling. It should not be something one just falls into.
Christian Marriage celebrated in the Sacrament of Marriage, is more than a contract or an agreement to live together or to have children together. Theirs is so be an intimate union and relationship of mutual love and fidelity, a lifelong union of heart and soul, a partnership based on love. It is a covenant relationship.
A covenant relationship is a very special relationship that recognizes that an intimate bond exists between those in the relationship. Those in a covenant relationship realize that if that relationship is not accepted, committed to, and lived out, they will not be true to the other or to themselves. The couple realizes that they are not whole without each other and cannot be true to themselves or to each other without being married. “She is my wife.” “He is my husband. “This ones, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” (Gen 2:23) They like the larger church are to be sacraments of God, sacraments of Christ, signs and reflections of the union, the covenant, between Christ and his Church.
In Catholic Christian marriage, the bride and the groom ask the Church to accept them in a new and importune role within the Church. They take on a new relationship not just between themselves but with the faith community of the Church. They are called to be living witnesses of Christ who wishes to relate to his followers as spouse in an intimate union of love. God entrusts them with His very reputation and lets them be a source of an experience of His presence: husbands and wives to experience His presence as loving spouse through their spousal love for each other; children to experience Him as loving Parent through the parental love of their parents; all of us to experience Him as the great and passionate Lovers as we touch by married people. God is love and where there is love, God is.
Those Married…A Living Cell
The husband and wife become a “home” or “domestic’ Church; a new living cell in the parish church and in the Body of Christ. Like the parish family, they are called to celebrate God’s love in their lives, live out Jesus’ ways and be of service to others. As they expand their family, they give birth and nourish new members in the Body of Christ
In very imperfect, yet, beautiful ways, husbands and wives make believable the truths of our faith. Their unconditional love for each other and their children makes believable God’ unconditional love for all of us. Their faithfulness to each other reveals God ‘s faithfulness. Their struggle to become one reflects God’s struggle to become on with us. Their spiritual, psychological, and sexual union – two becoming one flesh without destroying their personal identities – reflects the very mystery of the Trinity – three person yet one God – and God’s becoming one with us in the person of Jesus without destroying anything of divinity and humanity. Their mutual sharing of day-to-day living in equality gives insight into God’s becoming one with us in the person of Jesus, not lording it over us but as companion and partner. Their unselfish love with its constant dying to self reflects Jesus’ unselfish love for us – even dying for us on the cross.
Mirror of Church
Married couples also model and mirror what it means for us to be Church. Like married couples we, as Church, need to strive to accept each other as the other is, sharing of our very selves, love and forgive each other and be companions in the journey of life and faith as we share responsibility
Called...To Live union of Love
The main concern of the married is not their careers or job but their calling to live out their union of love. They are to be no longer two, but one flesh, one entity. This relationship does not just happen. It takes work.
They will never live out their marriage covenant and be the special sign and presence of the loving God by their own power. They cannot be a living cell in the Body of Christ in isolation from the rest of us, the Church.
Jesus is the source of their strength and their model. The Eucharist is very special to them. It is in the Eucharistic celebration that they recall the extent of Jesus’ love which is the model of their love.
Of Like Mind
It is difficult to live this beautiful Sacrament on Marriage without an intense faith and a spouse of like mind. Therefore the Church community asks those wishing to marry to be living their faith and to marry a Catholic. Yet, when there is sufficient reason the bishop will give permission for the Catholic to marry one who is not Catholic. But then only if the Catholic party reaffirms his or her fait in Jesus Christ and with God’s help intends to continue living the Catholic faith, and promises to do all with in his or her power to raise the child as catholic.
Safeguarding the Sacredness of Marriage
Marriage is precious to the Church. The Sacrament of Marriage is even more precious. The Church recognizes and rejoices in all marriages of those who are not Catholic if they have married according to the laws of the state. Those baptized as Catholic and who have “not officially” joined a non-Catholic Church are to be married before an authorized Catholic Church witness, usually a priest, unless dispensed form this law by the explicit permission of the bishop
When either partner has been married before, a decision of annulment or similar staminate for all previous marriages must be obtain from a diocesan marriage tribunal before entering another Marriage. Widows and widowers need a death certificate of their previous spouses(s).
Marriage and the Eucharist
Catholics who do not marry according to the laws of the Church exclude themselves from the right to receive Eucharist until they have corrected their situation according to the Church. This is also true with those living together before marriage.
Living together before marriage is a serious affront to the Catholic Christian belief about human sexuality, sex, and the Christian family and reflects an attitude of opposition to the values of the Catholic Christian community. Statistics indicate that those living together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.
Marriage and Remarriage
In the Roman Catholic Church
Our American society brings us into relationships with people of different religions and denominations. This is enriching for all of us. Yet it does bring about many interdenominational and interfaith marriages. To help those who enter such marriages, it is important that we understand what various religions and denominations hold sacred about marriage.
Reflecting God’s Love
As Catholics we believe in the sacredness of all marriages no matter what is the religion of the spouses. We see unselfish spousal love vital to healthy family life. In a special way, we see in every marriage the possibility of reflecting what we as Catholics believe about God.
God is a passionate lover who is always faithful to us and will never abandon us, even if we abandon God. For that reason Catholics believe marriage is to be with one person for life and requires faithfulness and, at times, forgiveness.
Our Catholic married couples are especially dear to us. We see them as having a very special role within our church community. They are to teach us about love. They have been entrusted with God’s reputation and are to make believable God’s parental and spousal love. They form a new cell within the body of Christ and our faith community, becoming a church of the home. Catholics see all pre-marital sex and cohabitation as contrary to our beliefs in the sacredness of marriage and human sexuality as well as hindrance to true healthy marriage preparation and therefore sinful.
Because of these beliefs we urge our membership to choose a spouse of like beliefs and values, and ask those contemplating marriage to spend a minimum of six months in a marriage preparation program. This preparation includes prayer, self-evaluations, and discussions on various topics related to marriage, especially on the meaning of Catholic Christian marriage.
Catholics are to marry and remarry according to our church laws if they wish to remain in good standing within the church community and be free to receive Eucharist. The couple seeking marriage must be sufficiently mature and have a reasonable understanding of, and ability and intention to live married life. The Catholic partner or partners must be willing to continue to live the Catholic faith and intend to do all within their power to raise the children of that union as Catholics. The taking of their marriage vows is to be witnessed in ordinary circumstances by an approved priest and two witnesses. For a sufficient reason the Bishop may give permission for the marriage to be celebrated before a judge or minister of another faith.
Free To Marry
To safeguard our belief that marriage is for life, a Catholic and the person whom a Catholic wishes to marry must be free to marry and free from a previous marriage bond. One is free to marry if one has never been married before or if one’s former spouse is deceased. If one or both were married before and the former spouse(s) is/are alive, there is the possibility of applying for a “declaration of nullity,” commonly called an “annulment” of the previous marriage(s). Such a declaration recognizes one as free from a previous marriage bond.
A Catholic Church “annulment” is a formal declaration issued by the Church which states that, after a very careful and thorough process, the Church is morally certain that the covenant of marriage did not take place between the couple at the time of their marriage – the covenant of marriage being a special bonding and binding relationship of love. It states that from the very beginning of that marriage something was present which did not allow the covenant to come into existence according to the way the Church understands that the covenant of marriage should and must be.
A declaration of nullity, then, is not a denial of the existence of the precious marriage. In fact, it recognizes that there was a previous legal and personal bond and that all children from this previous bond are fully legitimate. It insists upon the continuing responsibility of the parents toward the children born into the marriage.
Looking Back
What might have prevented the couple from bringing a marriage covenant into existence between them?
There may have been: significant immaturity which prevented the person from being ready to take on the serious obligations of marriage; a serious lack of reflection and understanding in the decision to marry; the pressures of a pregnancy or a desire to escape into marriage from a bad home situation; a disabling psychological, drug or alcohol problem; or the marriage involving the Catholic was not according to our church law. These are some of the possibilities which are explored when a person presents a failed marriage for a possible declaration of nullity.
One should begin the process to seek a “declaration of nullity” through their local parish. There is no charge for this in the Diocese of Gaylord which covers the northern 21 counties in the lower peninsula of Michigan.
Come, I Will Give You Rest
Separated and divorced Catholics are urged to continue to be involved in the church and share in the Eucharist as long as they make the effort to forgive and live the Catholic Christian life. Divorce obtained in good faith and with good reason does not in itself separate one from neither membership nor participation in the life of the Catholic Church.
Catholics who, for whatever reason, did not marry according to our church laws and wish to return to good standing within the church community and be free to receive Eucharist are encouraged to see their local pastor.
The Catholic Marriage Rites
The Catholic Church has three forms of a Catholic Wedding ceremony. The “Rite for Celebrating Marriage during Mass” is normally used when two Catholics marry (assuming the Eucharist is meaningful to both of them as demonstrated by their weekly participation). The “Rite for Celebrating Marriage outside of Mass” is generally used when a Catholic marries a baptized person from another Christian church. The “Rite for Celebrating Marriage between a Catholic and an Unbaptized Person” is used when a Catholic marries someone who is not a baptized Christian, including a catechumen.
As to the Future
Briefly this is how we see and work with marriage and remarriage at this point in history as Catholics. We recognize that other faiths and denominations may have different insights and ways of handling marriage and remarriage within their religion or denomination. We respect them in their beliefs and practices and ask that we be respected in ours. With prayer, study, and mutual sharing, hopefully all of us will be able to grow in understanding and appreciation of that union of a man and a woman we call marriage and work together to nurture that beautiful calling.
Printed with church and author’s permission